MIA

So I haven't blogged for almost exactly a month. It's weird because it's partly because nothing was going on that was worth blogging about and partly because I was too busy. Anyway, here's what you missed.

I got a job! It's just nannying, but for now it pays the bills.

I went to my first Blackhawks game! And it was quite possibly the best day of my life. I'm not exaggerating, it's definitely top 5. The best part is the tickets were fo free. I won them playing trivia with my roommate and her boyfriend. Not kidding. The seats were awesome, too. I could see Jonathan Toews' face so my life is pretty much complete.

I hung pictures! Okay, one picture. But it's the first thing I've hung with real nails since I put an Aladdin poster above my bed in 1994. Seriously. I might have commitment issues.

I'm getting a haircut! In two weeks. Just thought you might want to know.

I'm super in love with Chicago! It might be cold as fuck right now, but the more places I go in the city the happier I am that I live here. Except for the almost constant construction going on in my building lately. That can go the fuck away.


That just about catches you all up with what's going on with me. I promise not to wait a month before blogging again, but you should know I'm not great at keeping promises.


UPDATE: It didn't even cross my mind that this was the first post of 2012, so I have one more catch-up thing: I had an epic New Years Eve! I went to an amazing party at the Drake with some of my favorite people. No midnight kiss but I'm not even mad about it.

There, now you're all caught up.

White Christmas?

My relationship with snow has definitely been a roller coaster throughout the years. When I was little there was no better news than the weatherman predicting 6 to 8 inches of snow because that meant the possibility of a snow day. And when snow days did happen, when you were little it meant you could run over to your friends houses and build snow forts and have snowball fights until you couldn't feel your face. Then once I got my drivers' license, snow became a huge nuisance. I still remember driving 15 mph along Walled Lake trying not to go skidding into the water on my way to school. In college, snow still sucked. There were no snow days, even when it snowed over 10 inches. Walking to class in the snow was the worst. Cold toes, cold noses, cold ears just to sit boiling hot in class for 2 hours, then walk all the way back home. Now that I'm in Chicago and working 5 minutes from my front door, I welcome snow with open arms. I can't wait to see the city covered in it. Snow and I are back on good terms and I need a white Christmas. Make it happen, Mother Nature.

New Years Rockin' Eve

So I know that I've blogged before about holidays hijacking other holidays and stealing their thunder, but since I don't celebrate Christmas anyway I'm gonna talk about New Years Eve. Plus it's like a week after Christmas so you really can't wait until afterwards to start planning. Alright, for me, New Years Eve has always sort of been an elusive holiday. I've never had an epic New Years. I've never really even had a decent New Years. I mean, I'm partly to blame for putting the holiday on a pedestal, but it still sucks that at age 23 I haven't been able to master NYE. Here's a recap of my last few New Years' just to give you an idea of the amount of failure I'm talking about. [Just a sidenote: I struggled for literally minutes trying to decide which year to use to refer to the past New Years Eves. I decided to use the year it was on Dec. 31, so this year's will be New Years 2011. I don't care if it's right, it's how it's gonna be.]

2010: I spent the night housesitting with a friend and her boyfriend while demolishing super strong Jello shots that I had made. My friend and I watched The Hangover while her boyfriend puked red Jello everywhere. So much fun.

2009: Went to a bar in East Lansing, and I'm pretty sure this was my first New Years as a 21 year old (We went to Harpers. Anyone who knows anything about EL knows this was my first mistake. Lame). Got hammered, danced, walked home alone. My friend and her boyfriend got in an epic fight and I had no idea because I was hammered and dancing and walking home alone. Whoops.

2008: Tried to have a "classy" party with hors d'oeuvres and cocktails, but a bunch of randoms showed up and brought Doritos and beer and I don't remember the ball dropping.

That's as far back as I can remember specific New Years occasions; the rest of them kind of blur together into a pile of New Years shit. This year is the game changer, though. My roommate and two of our friends are going to a fancy shmancy party at a hotel downtown and so help me God it's going to be amazing. As soon as I find a dress to wear...ugh.


--Okay, I do remember one amazing New Years Eve, so I think it's only fair in the spirit of balance to tell you about that one. Prepare to be blown away.

1998: I was 10 and I was with my mom, two of my friends and their parents. We went to a nice restaurant and I specifically remember having chocolate mousse for desert. I also specifically remember jamming to Will 2 K on the radio. We went to the movies and saw You've Got Mail, then went back to someone's house to watch the ball drop. For a 10-year-old that's as good as it gets. 

The Early December

It's officially December, which means it's time to watch Christmas movies and listen to Justin Bieber's Christmas cd on repeat. And, like all good Jews, I look forward to a Chinese food fest on Christmas day. The Christmas/holiday season (Don't get caught up in that, I don't get offended when people tell me Merry Christmas, you shouldn't get offended when people say Happy Holidays. Move on.) is, at least in the movies- which is what real life is based on, obviously- about love and stuff. However, my favorite things about winter have little to nothing to do with love and stuff. Okay, maybe peripherally because deep down I'm a hopeless romantic blah blah blah. December. Here's why it's awesome:

Snow. I didn't used to like it, but it never quite feels like winter until it snows and sticks. It's pretty and romantic and too much fun to play in. Now that I'm car-less snow doesn't seem like that much of an inconvenience anymore. Plus, Chicago in the winter is beeeautiful...when the snow doesn't shut the city down.

Pond hockey. Growing up there was a pond behind the houses down the street that we used to skate on. It was pretty shallow so it froze easily and if you were to fall through, which did happen a few times, you were only just above waist deep at worst. It was usually only someone's leg that went through the ice anyway. No biggie. Living in a high rise doesn't lend itself to pond hockey, but it's still something that makes winter awesome.

Hockey season. No explanation necessary.

Home Alone and Elf. The two best Christmas movies ever made. While I'm down to watch these any time of year, it's not considered obnoxious to watch them every day. Which I will. And I'll quote them both until you want to hit me but you won't because you know how awesome these movies are.

It's romantic. Period. From under the mistletoe kisses to the high expectation of the New Years Eve midnight kiss, there's so much kissing going on for cold and flu season. Something about the season makes people want to snuggle up and drink hot cocoa while watching football. Wait. That's not right...

December's just all around a great month, and I for one am glad it's finally here. Although I would like more time to find a New Years dress...31 days is definitely not enough.

Sweet Home Chicago

I've been trapped in the 'burbs for the long weekend. Over these last four agonizing days I've learned that I officially belong in a city, specifically Chicago. It's not even a contest, it's just not fair. The only thing that's better about the Hills than Chicago is the food I grew up eating is here. Oh, and my mom lives here but I talk to her on the phone. (Side note: My mom gets upset when I tell her I don't get homesick, but it's her own fault. She shipped me off to camp for weeks at a time starting when I was 6 or 7. By the time I was 8 I was going for a month straight.) Anyway, I'm beyond amped to get back to the city where it's loud and populated and I don't have to drive anywhere and things are open past 9 on a weeknight. Sure, in a couple months it's gonna dump snow and sometimes the el smells like pee, but that's just part of the charm.

1000 Reasons I'm Probably Adopted

I mentioned writing a post on this subject in a previous post and I'm bored so I'm doing it. Don't worry, I won't list a thousand things...right now. For now I'll just list a few of the reasons I could not possibly be my mother's biological daughter.

1. She cries. At everything.

I'm not a crier. I don't like crying, I don't like seeing people cry, I don't know how to deal with people who are crying. I really only cry when I'm pissed, which makes me mad and makes me cry more. It's awful. I also tend to cry at Pixar movies. Anyway, my mom cries at anything even remotely sentimental or emotional. She cried while watching Kim Kardashian's wedding special for chrissakes.

2. She doesn't like Buddy's Pizza

Anyone who knows anything about me knows I am obsessed with Buddy's, a local pizza chain in Detroit. I could eat their antipasto salad and almost-deep-dish square pizza every single day. My mom hates it. She'd rather eat Domino's or, even worse, Little Caesar's. Gross.

3. She's not musically/rhythmically inclined at all.

She's the definition of tone deaf and she has two left feet. I'm not sure how she spawned my sister and I. We both spent years dancing, my sister's a great singer and I can kind of carry a tune (even though in my head I'm a love child of Adele and Mariah Carey) and my sister and I both pick up instruments pretty easily. My grandma sang in a band in the 40s (seriously.) so she claims it skipped a generation, but I think I'm just adopted.


Disclaimer: I love my mom. I'm not adopted, it's a fact. She reminds me every single year on my birthday that I made her a whale the summer of '88 and it was the hottest on record.

Girl Code?

I hate Trending Topics. I hate them. Mostly because every time you click on them it's either something Bieber or Twilight related, or just some middle school nonsense that I'm too old to find funny. TTs are also a breeding ground for bad grammar and spelling. Today #girlcode was a TT. Joke's on you, Twitter. There's no such thing as girl code. Girls who think they prescribe to any sort of girl code absolutely do not. Girls are mean, vindictive and vicious and the worst part is they do it with a smile. I say "they" and not "we" because in my wild delusions I don't take part in this stupid, petty behavior. I have and I do, but I like to pretend I don't. Anyway, we may not all stick to any sort of girl code, but there is one phrase we all have said more than once. In this era of texting, tweeting, blogging, etc, so much is lost in digital translation. You've all said it, thought it, texted it to someone else:

What did he/she mean by that? 

Whether it's a boyfriend, a guy you like, a girlfriend or a frenemy (a word made up specifically for these "girl code" following a-holes), we've all overanalyzed a text or tweet. Looking for the connotation that fits our needs or convincing ourselves that it couldn't possibly be that, we read and re-read until all the words mean nothing, or until the next text comes in that needs analyzing. I hate this insane behavior. Even fully knowing it's insane, I'm doing it right now. Trying to figure out what the fuck anyone means by anything they say online is enough to make your head spin. But we'll keep doing it. Because we're girls and that's what we do.