I mentioned writing a post on this subject in a previous post and I'm bored so I'm doing it. Don't worry, I won't list a thousand things...right now. For now I'll just list a few of the reasons I could not possibly be my mother's biological daughter.
1. She cries. At everything.
I'm not a crier. I don't like crying, I don't like seeing people cry, I don't know how to deal with people who are crying. I really only cry when I'm pissed, which makes me mad and makes me cry more. It's awful. I also tend to cry at Pixar movies. Anyway, my mom cries at anything even remotely sentimental or emotional. She cried while watching Kim Kardashian's wedding special for chrissakes.
2. She doesn't like Buddy's Pizza
Anyone who knows anything about me knows I am obsessed with Buddy's, a local pizza chain in Detroit. I could eat their antipasto salad and almost-deep-dish square pizza every single day. My mom hates it. She'd rather eat Domino's or, even worse, Little Caesar's. Gross.
3. She's not musically/rhythmically inclined at all.
She's the definition of tone deaf and she has two left feet. I'm not sure how she spawned my sister and I. We both spent years dancing, my sister's a great singer and I can kind of carry a tune (even though in my head I'm a love child of Adele and Mariah Carey) and my sister and I both pick up instruments pretty easily. My grandma sang in a band in the 40s (seriously.) so she claims it skipped a generation, but I think I'm just adopted.
Disclaimer: I love my mom. I'm not adopted, it's a fact. She reminds me every single year on my birthday that I made her a whale the summer of '88 and it was the hottest on record.
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